How To Be Real
 By: Steve Pilkington

Authenticity is defined as being genuine or real as opposed to
that which is fake.  I believe the best guide we have through life
is when we are most real with ourselves; as that allows us to be
real with others.  If we are not real with self, we cannot be real
with anyone else.  When one is real with oneself one's internal
"compass" is always pointed towards true north.

Being authentic can bring us the real joy in life that allows us to
live lives filled with meaning and purpose.

Therefore the question becomes: "How does one get to ones
authentic self?"

First, we give up on perfectionism.  There is no such thing!
Perfectionism evolves from the words we've all heard many
times: "always do your best."  Why must we always do our best?
Is this not a heavy burden?  Always doing our best implies that
we are always striving; always straining.

I'm not saying don't be the best person you can be...all I'm
saying is stop straining towards an unrealistic image.  Stop and
smell the roses today...enjoy life today...live right now.  It's
difficult to do these things while trying to be perfect.

Secondly, live your life according to your values.  What five
things are most important to you?  Pause right now and seriously
reflect on the things in your life that are most important to you.
Structure your life around what you value the most.

Spend time honoring that which is most important to you.  What
is most important?  Friends, family, relationships, love,
abundance, nurture, time?  Define what it is you value the most
and then align your life to honor those values.  You will never
become genuinely authentic until you do.

Thirdly, focus on and honor who you are in the present.  Now is
truly all that you have.  Living today, in the here and now, will
free you from the past as well as the future.

Someone said, "the past reaches into the present and determines
the future."  It doesn't have to be that way.  You can spend years
in therapy and thousands of dollars or you can just let the past go
and stop worrying about the future.  It's a decision you can make
right now.  None of us have to remain trapped unless we want to
be.

Try living today without any expectations from anyone, without
the belief anyone "owes" you anything because they really don't.
Instead, ask yourself, "What can I give today, how can I be of
service to others?  Give of yourself today without any strings
attached and watch how it will come back to you and how
genuinely authentic you will become.

Give up perfectionism, live your life according to your values and
live in the present and you'll be on your way to becoming the
genuinely real person you truly were destined to be.
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Steve Pilkington is a Personal/Professional Development Coach.
You can subscribe to his FREE ezine: "Create The Life You Are
Meant To Live" by sending a blank email to
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